Seinfeld ha tocado, a lo largo de sus nueve temporadas, prácticamente todos los temas posibles: inmigración, homosexualidad, masturbación, religión, cáncer, discapacidades varias, antisemitismo, comunismo, todo todo todo. Y ha tocado cada tema del único modo posible en los ’90: con cinismo.
Es memorable el capítulo sobre el aborto.
Elaine y Jerry van a comer al restaurant de Poppie:
ELAINE: Boy, I’m really looking forward to this duck. I’ve never had food ordered in advance before.
JERRY: Ah, I could’ve stayed home and ordered a pizza from Paccino’s.
ELAINE: Paccino’s? Oh no. You should never order pizza from Paccino’s.
JERRY: Why not?
ELAINE: Because, the owner contributes a lot of money to those fanatical, anti-abortion groups.
JERRY: So, you won’t eat the pizza?
ELAINE: No way.
JERRY: Really.
ELAINE: Yeah.
JERRY: Well, what if Poppie felt the same way?
ELAINE: Well, I guess I wouldn’t eat here, then.
Jerry, malo como es, llama a Poppie y le pregunta qué opina del aborto. Poppie se pone como loco y dice que está firmemente en contra, Elaine le discute y se arma un revuelo.
Paralelamente, Elaine empieza a salir con un tipo.
ELAINE: I’m in looove!
JERRY: Whoa!
ELAINE: This is it, Jerry! This is it! He is such an incredible person! He’s real, he’s honest, he’s unpretentious… oh, I’m really lucky!
JERRY: Did you tell him I was sorry I didn’t offer him the drink?
ELAINE: No, I forgot. And, the best part is, he doesn’t play games. You know? There are no games!
JERRY: No games? What is the point of dating without games? How do you know if you’re winning or losing?
ELAINE: Well, all I know is, he doesn’t like games and he doesn’t play games, you know? He has too much character and integrity.
JERRY: Ah ha. And what is his stand on abortion?
ELAINE: What?
JERRY: What is his stand… on abortion?
ELAINE: Well, I’m sure he’s pro-choice.
JERRY: How do you know?
ELAINE: Because he, well… he’s just so good-looking.
Hasta ahí, la acidez seinfeldiana en todo su esplendor. ¿Pero qué opina la sitcom sobre el aborto? Queda claro en una escena entre Kramer y Poppie, mientras planean un negocio en el que el cliente cocine su propia pizza. Kramer amasa y empieza a poner los ingredientes. Justo cuando pone los pepinos, Poppie lo interrumpe:
POPPIE: Wait a second… what is that?
KRAMER: It’s cucumbers.
POPPIE: No, no. You can’t put cucumbers on a pizza.
KRAMER: Well, why not? I like cucumbers.
POPPIE: That’s not a pizza. It’ll taste terrible.
KRAMER: But that’s the idea, you make your own pie.
POPPIE: Yes, but we cannot give the people the right to choose any topping they want! Now on this issue there can be no debate!
KRAMER: What gives you the right to tell me how I would make my pie?
POPPIE: Because it’s a pizza!
KRAMER: It’s not a pizza until it comes out of the oven!
POPPIE: It’s a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!
KRAMER: No, it isn’t!
POPPIE: Yes, it is!
“No es una pizza hasta que no sale del horno” vs. “Es una pizza desde el momento que ponés los puños en la masa”
“No es un ser humano hasta que no sale del vientre materno” vs. “Es un ser humano desde el momento en que se unen el espermatozoide y el óvulo”
¿El debate? Un “Yes, it is / No, it isn’t” eterno.